For the longest time in my life I have known how to mourn. I dare say I was born this way, like a genetic imprint on your soul.All good Sicilian woman know how to it’s imperitive we do. This month brings 2 significant reasons to be in perpetual mourning, 4 weeks to be exact.There is actually 3 deceased people but I will get to that. 18 years ago I lost my son,he was stillborn at 25 weeks and 4 days.He was buried by my father as I lay in hospital a blithering mess.I had no counciling no therapy not even a there there it will all be ok.Just a blunt, cut and dry bitch of a nurse who doled out Valium & Morphine every 4 hours.My son was buried in accordance with our custom.He has a plain white cross to mark his resting place.No marble headstone no fancy urns just a plain white cross that I demanded he had.He would of been a grown man this month 18 & my adult son.He is all but a shell and his grave is tended by my best friend who is part of this month of mourning.Rest in Peace my son.The second person I mourn for is a woman I called my aunt & I still do yet we have no genetic links but a beautiful relationship that can only be described as soul saving.This woman was more than my friend she was like a mother unlike the incubator that birthed me.My aunt was strong,independant and full of life.She was small in size but had a mighty heart.She could make a man look feeble,she was unstoppable and a force of pure love.She passed away after a short but cruel fight with cancer.A woman who could not or should I say would not utter a foul word ever no matter her anger or hurt.That was until she became riddled with this vile insidious disease that robbed her of life.I attest my parenting & my humanity to her.She taught me that not all people are evil not all people are here in this world to hurt you.That you can trust people, that you can speak up.She is the reason I am still breathing today.She saved me from the brink & made me see the possibilities. I miss her incredibly but her son. my mate who tends to my sons grave,he is a broken man.He was a young man when she passed and he has never came out through the fog.He is still wandering lost & I worry that he may never return.Rest in Peace my Aunt.
The third person to die was him,the perpertrator of evil,the sperm donor the bastard that gave me life.I do not mourn him I never will.He took his life on the anniversary of my sons death.He was selfish to the end and nobody that vile deserves my tears anymore.