Monthly Archives: June 2011

The Goth Family & the local show.

On Saturday we took the kids to the local agricultural show. It was your standard fare of wood chopping and horse events.The kids are not into these things at all.We ventured into the arts and crafts hall to view the quilting and hand made goodies.I love all that stuff, I admired a quilt that was black and red.I got goth girl to read the details tag for me, it was made by a 84 year old.I wanted to cry.SmutMan had a grand conversation with an older lady over the fruit cakes.We love fruit cake in the Goth home.The kids where getting antsy and so we proceeded to the animal hall. I had a chat with some beautiful chickens & roosters, I asked them how they felt being confined to such a small cage, they responed with “peck peck”. I saw what I can only describe as a Rooster on steroids, it was bloody huge.We looked at wood turning,goth boy was intrigued by that, he said that the smoothness of the timber made him feel good(god bless Aspergers & sensory intergration).We checked out a sheep having a hair cut, we patted the sheep.Goth girl went on a ride or 2 but goth boy had no interest in them.We went to the baby animal display where my inner child came out.We all went in and I cuddled a lamb so much I was going to take him home.We had a pack of piglets chasing us around,I fell in love with them all.I asked the young man how much a piggy was $70.00 a bargain.He said they make good eating.I said NO I want him as a pet.I picked up a duck, chicken and before we left I picked up a spotty little piggy and cuddled him.SmutMan took pictures of me reviving my youth, for the first time in ages I felt so content.Animals are the best people.I love all of them, except I wouldn’t be so personal with a snake or spider,They have their place in society too though.

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This is how I feel today.

And like this too.


CHAMPIX & The Goth.

Today is the first day of my journey into non smoking.I tried a few years ago and failed.This time though I have set myself a goal, you see being a old goth with numerous health problems has taken its toll.I am in need of 2 operations this year.My shoulder is rooted no other word can describe it.I want a titanium replacement,Goth terminator woman. I also have to have a bum camera(colonoscopy).Little goth daughter was very disturbed when I discussed this with her a while ago.She asked me how on earth they fit a camera up your crack.She is a charmer but she is beautiful.I had to explain it was no Pentax they where using but a thin snake like contraption, she shuddered still.My age is scaring me and the whole thought of having anesthetic and not waking up is terrifying me.Son of a Goth is taking it in his stride, he is very matter of fact and asked if I was dying. I reassured him I was not.Champix makes you nauseus & can cause mood swings,yay for me.It has been linked to suicidal thoughts, double yay.Thank goth for Valium.I decided to give up now as the school holidays has started and I have no reason to be stressing about kids and lockdowns.Albiet there was a stabbing 2 suburbs away last night, I am sick of the senseless violence.It is rife.Anyway I have signed up with the CHAMPIX site they send you daily tasks and affirmations.Today is “Gentle exersize”so people this is my gentle exersize it’s called thinking and typing.See you tomorrow.


The Goth family are going South.

It was decided many months ago that the Goth household needed a holiday & what better place than Melbourne.Up until 3pm today we were going to drive, but then SmutMan decided flying was the much more saner option, we sat and waited for the babies to finish school and I mentally tallied the economics of it.Hmm 3 days driving 2 overnight stays in Bates inspired hotel or under 2 hours to utter comfort.Comfort won hands down.I am by nature a creature of habit,so are the kids.We like climate controlled situations and at least 4 stars tacked onto the end of our choice of accomodation.We have a lot planned for our week away, best of all I get to catch up with friends.Food is high on my list, I miss real food.the only culture around here is in the back of peoples fridges.We plan to pack light so we can purchase some uber cool Melbournian clothing.Wich brings me to my dilema of shoes and the idea of transporting them back home.Last time we went away we hired a van to drive back,I managed to stockpile the back with boxes of boots and new found clothes.I am a boot tragic.Smut Man has a mission to get more tattoos as he entered the inked world with a bang last year.I have one more to get I keep telling myself.I swear just one more.The kids are so excited they are loving the idea of a whole new city to explore,Museums, Art Galleries they soak it all up.I am so proud of them both for having a thrist for knowledge.Our little girl and I sat online the other night checking all the fine eateries and attractions.Food is huge in the Goth Household we love a diverse range of edibles.I am desperate for a real wog feed, very un pc way of saying I miss my food cooked by someone else.It’s a week of no dishes except those made in our unit and even then theres a dishwasher,something I do not own here.I am counting down the days til we leave.MELBOURNE WATCH OUT THE GOTH FAMILY IS COMING


I may be blind but I can clearly see that you are a fuckwit.

Let me take you on a journey to the world of the optically challenged Goth. The other week I went to the eye specialist,not so special but PRICEY. SmutMan drives me to the clinic, it is a wanky overly decorated visual vomit suite.The photos on the wall tell a tale of my Dr’s passion for sailing and all things nautical.Noice.The wank factor is high the secretaries are primping themselves behind the faux marble counter.God knows why, we are in an eye clinic & most of us can’t fucking see them. That was a hasty assumption because I was to find out that the octogenarians where far more sighted than I.I was feeling somewhat deflated by the time I sat down & the first old coot sauntered by with a book, a fucking book.Score is 1 oldies 0 Goth.I have not read a real book for goth knows how long.I have this fancy talking machine that narrates to me albiet by a slow witted oaf. Then what I can only describe as a corpse sits down & my nostrils pick up the scent of Au de moth ball.She is at least 90 & I think “poor dear” until she picks up the latest smart phone and starts to communicate with it.Score is Oldies 2 Goth 0.I can’t see the new phones let alone use them to text.The oldies go in and out of the rooms.They wave to each other & make plans for bowling or whatever old people do these days.I am called in by a young overly enthusiastic helper monkey(girl).She tortures me with eye drops and puffs of air to my eye balls.I want so much to slap her but refrain.She asks me so many questions, too many in fact, this felt like the Spanish Inquisition.Do you smoke? Yes Do you drink? No.History of cancer?Yes.BLAH BLAH BLAH. What can you see Mrs Goth? NOTHING bitch you have taken what was left of my eyesight with your evil drops.I wait then to see the head honcho, he was a very polite little man WITH GLASSES. I am sorry but when the specialist has glasses you become a tad dubious of his skills. He follows up the interigation with more questions, I am nice and reply.Then he breaks the news “Mrs Goth YOU ARE LEGALLY BLIND & probably have been for a while”.I am 37 so score is Oldies 3 Goth 0.We leave the wanky practice and go for lunch where Smut Man plays the seeing eye husband so very well by notifying all and sundry that theres a blind woman coming through.We eat Laksa I am scared due to my total blindness care of the drops that I am going to wear my food.Thankfully SmutMan makes sure I am putting the food to my mouth and not anywhere that will humiliate myself.The whole concept of being labelled blind is hard to get used to but man when I get that cane lord help those who get in my way,It will be Society 0 Goth Infinity.


I can only pray.

Teacher among 11 charged over child porn

SAFFRON HOWDEN, NICK RALSTON
15 Jun, 2011 12:06 AM

A VETERAN teacher at an exclusive Sydney boys’ preparatory school is among 11 men arrested in four states over images of child sexual abuse, bestiality and child sexual assault.

Gregory John Coupland, 40, a teacher and director of snow sports at The King’s Preparatory School in Parramatta, was arrested by federal police last month.

He was charged with possessing child abuse material, using the internet to access the material and making child abuse material available.

The Scout leader, from Forestville in Sydney’s north, was granted conditional bail and has resigned from the school where he taught for more than 10 years.

His arrest was one of six in NSW as part of a federal police investigation into ”peer-to-peer” swapping of child exploitation and abuse images through a global file-sharing network.

The headmaster of The King’s School, Tim Hawkes, said police had assured him the boys were not in danger. ”The school is shocked and dismayed by the matter,” he said. ”The matter relates to alleged activities engaged in by this person outside of the school.

”The police have assured us that they are satisfied that there’s no boy at risk at King’s.” Dr Hawkes said the school worked closely with police during the operation and informed only relevant parents and staff after Mr Coupland’s arrest to allow the investigation to continue unhindered. The Herald complied with a federal police request to delay publication of the investigation.

Another alleged offender in NSW, who cannot be identified, faces allegations that he had sexual intercourse with children aged under 10 years and under 14. Two children were ”removed from harm” during the four-month operation.

A 38-year-old, who also cannot be named, was formally refused bail in Moree Local Court in the state’s north-west this month. He faces charges of bestiality and accessing child abuse material. The eldest of the men – accused of possessing the material – is Denis Turner, 67, a devoted ”cat fancier” from St Helens Park near Campbelltown.

Edward Chegwidden, 39, from Oakhurst, was also charged, and Christopher Saunders, 36, from Rushcutters Bay, faces three charges, including possessing child abuse material and using an internet service to access it and make it available.

The police, using undercover agents to infiltrate the global file-sharing network, also charged three men in Victoria, including a registered sex offender.

The others were Anthony Gerbes, 28, from Caboolture in Queensland, and a self-proclaimed nudist from South Australia, who cannot be named. He was granted conditional bail yesterday.

The 11 men work in information technology, hospitality, teaching and security. Between them they face at least 25 charges, carrying sentences of 10 years’ jail to life imprisonment. The police will allege the abuse material includes images of children as young as four.

”It’s common knowledge that police use covert assets,” said Commander Grant Edwards, the head of the federal police’s high-tech investigations unit. ”You never know who you’re talking to on the other end.”

He said sharing of child abuse images and videos over the internet operated in a similar way to illegal music downloading sites. ”You would go in there, strike up a relationship,” he said. But it required the two users to trust each other enough – perhaps through third-party introductions – to share illegal images.

The investigation, the first in Australia to focus on peer-to-peer networks, is part of an international effort to stamp out child abuse material online.

showden@smh.com.au


Sleep, or the lack of !

Sleep is elusive, yet highly sought after in our home. Between the four of us we are all over the place. The boy will sleep til 6am then he is up. It doesn’t matter what day it is either. The girl is a shocker, just like her dad. It takes her ages to settle & then when she does she crashes hard, everyday she manages to sleep well past the time to get up for school. She then proceeds to drag herself to the dining table where she is presented with a hot chocolate. Smut Man is Narcoleptic and suffers restless leg syndrome, he channels Michael Flatley in his sleep. He is up and down most nights like me. We are like ships passing in the night, or zombie like parents stumbling in the hall. Me well I can’t remember a night I have slept right through in my whole life. I hear every noise, the kicking of walls resonating from the girls room. Outside I can hear our resident possum doing laps around the house. The neighbours cats use my back patio as an oasis from their own frenetic home. Insomnia is a shitfull thing & it drags you down. By the time we are ready to walk the kids to school I have consumed several cups of tea a few cigarettes and taken my pain medication. We take the kids to school and drag ourselves home & do the daily clean up. Soon I start cane training & then on to a guide dog. The kids are excited at the prospect of a new pet to add to the guinea pigs, as we finally got Milo a new friend. His name is Sparky, the girl gave his name. I dubbed him G PIG but she had other ideas. He was six months old when we got him and was born on her birthday. That reminds me that it’s feeding time at the G PIG hut. Good Bye for now. Sleep well..


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