I am 37, I am a survivor of sexual and mental abuse.I was raped by my father and his cronies.Not your run of the mill rock spiders either.Cops, Judges, Detectives and people well up the social ladder. It started when I was 9. These arseholes still have a social standing in the community untainted.I am scared and always have been. I have a family a wonderful family.A husband who watches me suffer and destroy my self esteem who feels like his hands are tied.2 beautiful children.Happy content normal kids.Their mummy prays every night that they are safe and that nothing bad ever befalls them. I am alone at night with my thoughts and fears.Some nights I feel I have the courage to just do it, ring the relative authorities and spill my guts, then be prepared to have a target on the back of my head.The rest of the time I hope that they just die and I can read their obituary and breath just breath. I can be reading the paper and one of them is on the front page, being the do gooder.I want to scream to the world, he fucking raped me, he sliced marks on my arms like a score board, he paid my sick fuck of a father $5000.00 to defile me over and over.I live I love but I am fucking scared. The world is made up of so many sick and twisted cunts that everytime I go out I am always watching.
April 24, 2011
When the walls close in on you(Not light hearted)